Go on That Solo Date

There was a time when going to a coffee shop to do work by myself sounded like my biggest nightmare. I used to think it was so awkward to go get food or drinks by myself, sitting alone and in complete silence. Now, it's one of my favorite things to do. It's not something that has to be awkward or uncomfortable; instead, it's something I do to unwind and clear my head.

My biggest worry about doing things alone was that I'd look like a weirdo to everyone else around me. The truth is, people are much more self-obsessed than you realize. Most people don't give a shit what you're doing because they've got enough going on themselves. Plus, sitting at a bar alone or going to a museum or show by yourself is not like leaving the house butt naked. Being by yourself sometimes is one of the healthiest and most normal things that you can do.

Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. It can be an amazing way to take care of yourself and your mental health. Taking yourself on a solo date doesn't have to be something you just do when you're single either. You can be in a happy, healthy relationship and still enjoy solo dates and moments you get to yourself. It can teach you how to be less uncomfortable with being alone with your thoughts and even boost your confidence.The best part of a solo date is you choose the time, place, and activity. You don't have to look to someone else to choose where you go and what you do. Instead, you get to do whatever you want with no guidelines or rules. Also, if you want to leave, you can go home whenever! There's absolutely nothing holding you back.

It's also a great way to discover new things that you like. If you've been wanting to try a new genre of food, you can go to a new restaurant, not to mention it's also cheaper. You can go to that yoga or pilates class you've been wanting to try or see a new movie that's out in theaters. It's a great way to ease yourself into a self-discovery journey.If you're someone who has a lot of social anxiety, there are so many ways to combat those feelings. Bring a book, headphones, or even both! That way, if you're somewhere sitting or eating by yourself, you can look occupied. There are so many ways to make yourself feel more at ease and comfortable.

My favorite solo date is getting lunch somewhere quick and easy like Chipotle or Cava and afterwards going to the thrift store, putting in my headphones, and hitting play on my favorite podcast or playlist. Then absolutely locking in and flipping through every rack and scanning every shelf in the home goods area. Those kinds of solo dates are so cathartic for me because not only is it a great way to take myself out of my worries and anxieties, it's retail therapy too. And even better, sustainable retail therapy.

Another fun idea for a solo date is dressing up like you're going on a real date. If you have an outfit or dress that you've been dying to wear for months but haven't found the occasion to, a solo date is the perfect time to break it out. Do your makeup, wear the fancy perfume you own, and go out just because you feel good about yourself. It can be such a great way to grow your confidence.

My last piece of advice is to remember this: it's okay if it feels awkward. Doing things by yourself won't immediately feel comfortable if you aren't used to it. And that's completely okay and normal. Sometimes you need some time to get used to being alone, especially in public. Over time it will become easier and easier until it's just second nature. I know that is easier said than done, but once you get used to it, it's so worth it. There's no harm in trying it out, and if in the end you decide you hate it, you don't have to do it again. It might not be for you, and that is also okay.

Here's my call to action for all my Femme Collective girlies: do one thing by yourself this week for 20 minutes to an hour. Even if that means just running an errand by yourself. The more you get used to doing it, the easier it will feel for you. Also, remember to be safe, especially if you are a woman. Always make sure someone knows where you are when you are by yourself and always be aware of your surroundings. Most importantly, have fun and enjoy yourself, because you deserve it.